Tag Archives: Thanksgiving

“Thanks and Ever Thanks”

Preparation for writing the Thanksgiving blog is one of the year’s great pleasures—rereading the gratitude journal, chock full of splendid moments and blessings. First, the “sine qua non” of all that follows, comes health. Our brushes with ER’s, doctors and dentists this year have been brief and mild, thank God. In fact, as we were leaving a hospital after a brief visit, I encouraged my grandson to give thanks: “we’re the lucky ones. A lot of people here are very sick and won’t be leaving for a long time.” Somehow, our gratitude propelled our dash to the car as a small, vivid celebration. Vaccines, excellent doctors and preventive medicines are gifts to health which many people might envy. Exercise, hikes, swimming and yoga are frequent journal mentions in deep appreciation for mobility, when others my age experience sad pain, disease or weakness.

On almost every page, my children and grandchildren appear. So many instances of their generosity: phone calls, visits, gifts of caps, scarves, mugs, treats-to-eat are sprinkled throughout the year, along with a warm hand in mine for the walk to school, a funny or encouraging comment, shared care for the littles when Grammy grows weary, a burst of joy when we experience something delightful together. When a self-described “picky eater” compliments my pasta, I feel like I’ve won the Great Grandparent Bake-Off.

Any lofty thoughts in the journal are few; far more often I read of hummingbirds who forgive my less-than-perfect feeder and drink long and deep. Cookies, fresh strawberries and special coffees abound, as does wonder at the changing seasons: a cool, cloudy July when the rest of the country swelters, cherry tomatoes, roses and daisies still fresh in the November garden.  The soft feathering of rain, the pop of scarlet maple or golden leaves against darker redwoods eases the transition into fall, a threshold to the holiday season.

There’s nothing quite like the exhilaration of a jet pounding down the runway, and travel, even a short local trip is full of wonder and discovery. A shopping find, or view of mountains, or panorama of sunrise touching each tree in a valley lifts the spirits. As does laughter with friends, some dear as sisters, in other states or in restaurants near home. Unique to California are special times at the beach, where I see directly the words of Psalm 139:9-10: “If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea,/ even there, your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me fast.” A balcony over the Pacific for sunrise, or a skyscape at home for sunset: these are what Pope Francis called, “the golden threads that bind to [God].”

An infusion of long-awaited library books or favorite streaming shows means evening entertainment to look forward to all day, like the “ping” on my phone texting that my son-in-law has cooked another amazing dinner. A whole journal category could be Things I Worried About that Didn’t Happen, or a Meeting I Dreaded that opened a window of surprising opportunity and stimulation.  Volunteer work in first and second grades has shown how utterly unguarded children can be: I watch happily as light dawns across their faces, sounding out a new word or responding with empathy to a lovely story.  

Many of the gifts I’ve recorded are, I realize, hugely privileged—but how can we reject what God tailors specifically for us? It’s heartening that Thomas Merton records the same delight as I feel, “seeing the Creator’s imprint everywhere—not only some water and oil is holy; but all creation shines with divine presence” —and his was a life without many comforts or frills.  For one who has struggled most of her life with “not enough time,” pockets and cushions of time suddenly opening are remarkable gifts—how much one can do with an extra twenty minutes or hour! That leads of course to appreciating months and years many people never get.

Thomas Berry writes that humans once saw life itself as an “unmerited gift… exuberant delight and unending gratitude as their first obligation.” Obligation? Maybe at this time of year, gratitude easy as breathing…

Seeing all of life through the banquet lens

“As Richard Rohr often reminds us, we see things not as they are, but as we are. Lately, I’ve been trying to see things through the banquet lens. Surely, that was one of Jesus’ best images for his reign: a table overflowing with favorite foods, wines gleaming like rubies in glass goblets.”

Check out the rest of Kathy Coffey’s new article, “Seeing all of life through the banquet lens” on the NCRC website.

Feasting on Thanks, Part 2

Thanks in Unlikely Places

Some may feel that they don’t have a lot on the list to be grateful for.

But as Paul told the Thessalonians, “give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thess. 5:18). No matter how desperate a situation may seem, there’s always room in it for thanks—or a scavenger hunt to find something good there. A few examples, probably from worse times and places than ours:

• In the letter to Philippians, “joy” and “rejoice” appear 16 times, despite the fact Paul wrote from prison, awaiting a trial which could’ve led to his death.

• Corrie ten Boom, author of THE HIDING PLACE and survivor of a Nazi concentration camp was grateful for the fleas, because their presence meant the German guards would leave prisoners alone.

• “Gratitude changes the pangs of memory into grateful joy,” wrote Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who remained grateful even until his execution by Nazis, despite having to tell his fiancée goodbye.

• Those who survived the terrible tragedy of 9/11/01 in New York City were more resilient and less prone to depression if they could somehow find gratitude in the ruins. While a mixture of positive and negative feelings seems natural, it’s heartening to read remarkable relief despite terrible circumstances. One who was in the World Trade Center that morning said: “Each day that I stay as a guest on this green Earth suddenly seems like outrageous good fortune.”

Practical Steps

So how does a busy family fit shared meals into a packed schedule? Most families can spin out a litany of reasons why they can’t eat together: soccer games, meetings, choir practice, travel, work, etc. etc. But forgiving the pun, table the excuses. They all seem pretty flimsy when held up against the studies done by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse. Their surveys found that the more often a family has dinner together, the less likely their teen is to smoke, drink or use drugs. Each time the family dines together reduces the risk of children’s substance abuse. Nothing in the reports suggests it must be a five-course meal; macaroni and cheese is fine. What matters is telling the stories, chewing over the day, being nurtured together.

Can gratitude be incorporated into a tight calendar too? Many reasons to do so come from Robert Emmons. His book THANKS! says multiple clinical studies have proven that a regular practice of gratitude can elevate what psychologists call the “set point” of happiness. Though a devastating spinal cord injury can dramatically decrease happiness, and winning the lottery increase it, most people over the subsequent six months will adapt and return to the “set point.”

Grateful thinking helps people extract the most possible enjoyment from their circumstances. It prevents adaptation (returning to the “set point”) and improves mood because people don’t  take blessings for granted.

To receive these benefits, giving thanks beyond one day in November must become a deliberate habit. Thus, Emmons recommends a regular practice such as keeping a gratitude journal, naming the three best things that happen each day, writing a letter to or visiting someone we appreciate. A family can do this together, drawing or writing blessings on a big piece of newsprint hung jauntily on the refrigerator. Or make placemats from paper. In the center write THANKS, then surround the word with drawings or names of gifts: My dog. Music. Naps. Hot soup. (Laminate so they’ll last a while.) These practices can cascade throughout the month, becoming an avalanche of thanks by the feast itself. Seeing so many blessings, most people would want to continue every month. Bon Appetit!

Feasting on Thanks

Feasting on Thanks

by Kathy Coffey

Part 1 of an article which originally appeared in St. Anthony Messenger 

Often when asked to name a special family time, peoples’ responses cluster around meals: Christmas dinner, birthday parties, a vacation cook-out by the shore, a wedding banquet. Their intuition is sound: these special times are also sacred times. What better day to celebrate that connection than Thanksgiving?

It’s a holiday designed for thanks and feasting (though turkey and football have become part of the cultural accretion). The first Pilgrims who celebrated it were simply glad they’d survived a precarious ocean crossing in 1620, and had harvested enough corn to carry them through winter. They were grateful NOT for blissful, pain-free experience, but for the presence of God in whatever circumstance they met.

The Biblical Background

While atheists and agnostics celebrate Thanksgiving, people with religious ties are more likely to do so. A close connection between food and thanks is old as the Book of Wisdom: “That your children whom you loved might learn, Lord, that it is not the various kinds of fruits that nourish, but your word that preserves those who believe you!” (16:26)

Meals and gratitude are interwoven throughout the Hebrew and Christian scriptures. Apparently meals were so important to Jesus, his critics accused him of being a glutton and drunkard. When he wanted to define himself in terms of abundance, he told a hungry people who wanted the manna their ancestors had eaten: “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me will never hunger, and whoever believes in me will never thirst” (Jn. 6:30-35).

When Jesus multiplied the loaves and fishes, he first gave thanks (Jn. 6:11). He followed the practice of his Jewish ancestors at the Passover meal when he gave thanks for bread before breaking it, and for wine before drinking it. For him, eating and thanking were intertwined activities. When his disciples thought he was a ghost, he asked for something to eat, and they gave him baked fish. Because he knew the sacred context for eating, he might be saddened by how thoughtlessly we drive through and chow down.

After Paul’s startling discovery on the road to Damascus that he’d been persecuting the wrong people, Acts records his healing, baptism, and a key detail: “when he had eaten, he recovered his strength” (Acts 9:19). He then poured energy into converting most of the known world. Who cooked that meal? And what was on the menu?  To Be Continued...