Book Review: A Feast of Ripeness

In this season of abundant harvest, my son offered me a perfect slice of peach, poised on a knife, glistening and ripe. I thought of that juicy moment when I saw the cover of Joyce Rupp’s newest book,  The Years of Ripening. The gold-rose peach there gives a big hint: her work on late aging won’t disturb or depress; instead, it beckons towards joyful fulfillment. The reader ends thinking, “If this is what the eighth or ninth decade holds, I want to experience it!”  

Many will already know Rupp as a wise and trusted guide who has walked with us through many of life’s circumstances and transitions. Now, at age 81 herself,  she addresses Elderhood, the years beyond 80. Mercifully, she doesn’t camouflage the difficulties, like some of the ads for retirement centers where a lean, tan couple under constantly sunny skies play perpetual rounds of golf. Joyce’s insights come from thoughtful reflection, a deep spirituality and thorough research on her topic. My copy of the book is now a forest of sticky notes, marking wonderful quotes I want to savor and return to again and again, some as cherished mantras. While we like some of the same authors, she’s also introduced me to new ones I’m eager to explore. Furthermore, she has interviewed many people in the later years; their experiences and comments bring the direct voice of authentic paths well lived.

Those who age most happily take John O’Donohue’s advice to see not only the walls of limitation, but also the windows of possibilities. While some might regard these years as disintegration and diminishment, hope-filled elders still contribute to society, explore new delights, find hidden treasures within. Volunteer work, political rallies, local communities, book clubs and gyms are all outlets for their gifts and energies.

Decline is inevitable—in mobility, memory, vision, hearing and the countless other parts of the human body that gradually wear out. Many live with chronic pain, but the best models don’t complain, whine, or constantly discuss health issues.  They know that life can be vastly enriched when it consists of more than constant speed, or a job where someone else pulled all the strings. Instead they “marvel at the life they’ve been given” and warm themselves at the campfires of memory. Those who live with zest understand that “Fear has the power to have us die long before we die. It can paralyze and immobilize the pulse of joy and warp our outlook on life.” (p. 28)

Some of us internalize agist messages, thinking that becoming old means only decline, dementia and death. But this book pulses with the vigor of those who value increased quiet time, freedom from external constraints and pressures, less attachment to Stuff. When we no longer define ourselves by professions or achievements, we can see the holiness inherent in ordinary, everyday life. Macrina Wiederkehr points out that when we moan and groan about losses, we fail to notice the gifts which surround us.

One of the most meaningful phrases Rupp uses is the “tabernacles of absence” which can come from the death of friends and loved ones, the loss of special places. Loneliness and boredom are the two lions at the gate of elderhood, which we can duly acknowledge, then look beyond to a “Spirit of Love dwelling within our personal tabernacle, the sphere of our heart.” (p. 72)

If someone precious (or we ourselves) near the last page of the final chapter, the section on death justifies the cost of the book. For those who might fear the unknown, Rupp offers the assurance that “death is only a change of rooms.” (p. 131) She bases her hope on many experiences accompanying the dying, and concludes that the road ahead may be short, but still holds joy and transformation to feast on. People move past the compulsion to “shape up,” and shed religious dictates that no longer reflect a compassionate spirit. They welcome the mystery, beauty and tranquility that may still lie ahead., curious about whatever the future holds, however unresolved.

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