Henri Nouwen—The Gift of Vulnerability

On this day in 1996, Henri Nouwen died. Many of us probably read his books when they first appeared, but it’s splendid to revisit them years later. Probably the most popular are Return of the Prodigal Son and Life of the Beloved, but the focus today is on Reaching Out. (Page numbers in parentheses will refer to it.)

It is notable for some of Nouwen’s perennial, enduring themes. First and perhaps most striking is his own woundedness. He is boldly honest about his physical and mental health concerns, and the book was written as he recovered from a breakdown.

In it, he gives a welcoming and inclusive view of God rare for 1975, when it was first published. In contrast to the prevailing thought that we had to earn nearness to God by not sinning, Jesus gives “a union [with God] so total and full, there’s not the slightest place for the experience of absence or separation.” (94) It’s like eating a nourishing, delicious dinner to read that Jesus never says, “I’ll know Spirit fully and you’ll know a bit” or “I can do great things in God and you can do maybe a few.” Instead it’s “you can have the same experience of knowing Love that I do—and do greater things.” (95)

Another theme is the importance of our personal stories; what a loss it is to be people without narratives. For “in telling our stories, we befriend our past” (69) and interweave them with the parables of Jesus. Through our histories, God molds us as the sculptor molds the clay. Our response is a careful attentiveness to the loving hands on our shoulders, sculpting and guiding. All that happens then becomes part of our contemplation and meditation, inviting a free and fearless response (28). Rather than prayer being a drudgery or obligation, Nouwen sees at as “a great adventure, because God defies all our calculations and predictions” (95).

A bonus is a second section, titled Glimpse Beyond the Mirror, in which Nouwen recounts a serious car accident. He was hit by the mirror of a passing van while walking an icy road in winter. He then underwent surgery for a ruptured spleen and was not expected to recover. I’ve always admired how fluently he writes in English, when his native language was Dutch. Here, he makes marvelous use of metaphor, where the mirror and near-death experience give him a new look at himself and life.  

Awakening from the operation, surprised to be alive, he felt sent to make God’s love known, as it is freely given, not as it must be earned or deserved. Surely that rock-firm assurance undergirds the two popular books named in the first paragraph. For them Nouwen drew on his recent experience of living in eternity while remaining in time. “I can let the experience of belonging to God be the place from which I can live the human pain of homelessness and estrangement.” So too, Jesus’ ministry sprang “from his deep experience of being unconditionally loved and was in no way motivated by a personal need for affirmation and acceptance.” (161) Thus, in another familiar theme, Nouwen can say that we’re “at Home while still on the way.” If we’re feeling lost, discouraged, angry or floundering anywhere else on the deeply human spectrum, it may be just the message we need to hear.

For a brief, free, daily meditation, also in Spanish, excerpted from Nouwen’s work, subscribe to: email-list@henrinouwensociety.ccsend.com.

The Grace of Grandparenting

A Day of Prayer for those who Nurture

Led by Kathy Coffey

Let’s celebrate what grandparents do naturally—love the grandkids with God’s own free-from-judgment love, and mirror their beauty. We’ll explore the spirituality that underlies that miraculous process.

Oct. 21—9 to 3

$50 includes lunch

Villa Maria del Mar, Santa Cruz CA

To register: www.vmdm.retreatportal.com

More info: Sister Michelle, vmdm.retreats@snjmuson.org, 204-688-1785